Hang On One Minute, I’d Love To Feel Yours Too

Finally, it was summer break. We had already made plans for a beach vacation and it was only two days before our flight was due. I decided to go into a drugstore to get some supplies for the trip and I took my oldest daughter with me.

So we walked into this drug store together. It was a long time ago, pre-corona times so no masking and no distancing rules. We got what we needed and headed straight to check-out. The cashier sitting behind the till was a young woman, probably in her twenties, with a toothy smile. She took one look at my daughter and beamed from ear to ear. She started scanning our items and started a conversation…

Cashier: oh what a beautiful Mischling, mixed children are the most beautiful.

Me thinking: here we go again…!

I gave her a feigned smile and took out my purse to pay.

Cashier: where are you guys from?

Me: Hamburg.

Cashier: I mean, where are you REALLY from?

I took one long look at her, wanted to say something very cheeky and hilarious like “from JUMANJI, the jungle…” then changed my mind and toned it down a bit.

Me: we’re from (name of our street)

She looks at me thinking that I probably misunderstood her. She turns her gaze back to my daughter, grinning. As I am counting out the money to pay for our stuff, she does the dumbest thing ever – she reaches out and fumbles with my daughters hair!

Cashier (giggling): oh that feels so fluffy. How nice… I’ve always wanted to know how that feels like…

That did it for me.

I gave her a steady icy look, but she was oblivious to that too, was too busy taking my payment and placing the change on the counter. So I did something else.

Me: Good woman, how old are you?

She looks up at me, not sure why I would ask -

Cashier: 22…?

Me: well…hang on one minute, I’d love to feel yours too.

I placed the shopping bag on the floor, reached out to her, placed both hands on her head and fumbled up her hair really nice.

Me: oh that feels so…(messing it up some more)…frizzy!

That wiped the stupid smile off her face.

Cashier: why would you do such a thing?

Me (innocently): what do you mean…but you just did that to my child?

Cahier: yeah, but she’s just a child and it wasn’t like that!

Me: well, you’re old enough to be my child, so from now on you will learn to respect people’s private space regardless of their age.

She was mortified.

Me: Sorry, here…keep the change (gave her some cents). Go get your hair fixed!

I picked up my shopping bag and we left the drugstore.

Experience they say, is the best teacher and sometimes words don’t help because:

• Some people are not able to understand how intruding something is until it’s been done to them.

• Some people will never understand how offensive something is until they experience it themselves.

• No matter how hard you try, some people are never able to interpret nor understand sarcasm in words.

Yes. I don’t always play nice. Call it bad, call it whatever you will. But I’m not sorry, because...YOU MESS WITH MY KID, YOU MESS WITH A DRAGON!